To be honest, I forgot I had a blog. With no internet, I forget about updating such things. But right now I am sitting in the business center at our apartments while Marcus plants his farm town fields, and so I thought I would put in a little life update.
As my loyal readers already know, Marcus & I are engaged! I won't share the proposal story, that is probably best told in person. I will share a short story that occured the following day:
The day after we were engaged, we decided to take a road trip to visit my dad- (Marcus had stopped by his house just days before to ask his permission to marry me)
I could not get ahold of dad, so we decided to just head up to the Lake anyway and maybe spend the day golfing and fishing. When we arrived, dad was there and he and I took the dog out for a little trot around the front yard. I casually mentioned the engagement, and he said something that compelely caught me off-guard.
"Is this the right thing to do? You know last time you thought it was the right thing, and that didn't work out..."
I felt a dull ache forming in my gut, as if someone had just punched me as hard as they could in my stomach.
I was so happy about spending the rest of my life with the love of my life I had forgotten until this point that I had been engaged before.
I was devistated.
I played it off as though we were in a hurry to go the golf course, and rushed Marcus in the car to leave.
Thoughts filled my head: Is dad right? Am I wrong to be so happy? Why is this time so much different?
I decided right then, that we couldn't stay with dad that night. I wasn't ready to face him or his question until I had answered it myself.
Marcus and I had a nice dinner, and he knew that something was bothering me, so in the car I finially told him what dad had said to me to make me so distant. That is one thing about Marcus-
He always has something to say that eases my anxiety. We talked about us our life together and my past, and by the time we had been talking for only a few minutes, I knew the answer to my dad's query.
This WAS the right thing. I am truly happy. I had not been truly happy in any of the time I spent with my former "fiance" and the reasons I had said yes to him were all about what other people would think, and the reasons I said yes to Marcus were entirely about how he makes me feel and how well he treats my daughter and I. I always thought that the term soul-mate was fairly lame, and I still do... But I get where they came up with the idea.
The person that you are supposed to be with, is:
The person who-
makes you laugh when all you want to do is cry.
knows when something is wrong, sometimes even before you do.
understands who you are, accepts your flaws & embraces them.
The person who I am supposed to be with will stand by my side, while we are poor as church mice, and make me utterly happy to wake up every morning.
We will have hard times, we will have highs and lows, but I have never been more sure about anything in my life...
This is the right thing.
He is the right man.
And no, this is nothing like last time.
*point of note, I also realized that my dad was only looking out for me, and meant no harm. We have since discussed the incident, and there are no hard feelings.
