A Soldier's Wife

I am unmistakably one of the most free thinking, liberal, peace loving, colorful people you will meet. If you would have told me 5 years ago that I would be married to a conservative, republican soldier I would have laughed in your face.

Love has a funny way of sneaking up on you just when you are least expecting it. You can learn more about the beginnings of my relationship with my husband by reading in previous blogs, and you will also learn of my overwhelming feelings for him.

If you already know me-- you know that my husband Marcus has left for training for his deployment to Afghanistan. I have officially been missing him for nearly one month, one of approximately twelve.

Watching my best friend, lover and new husband walk onto a bus, not knowing when I will see him next is by far one of the hardest things I have ever done.

It is nearly impossible to express how true love makes me feel, and how "being without" -cliche as it is- "makes the heart grow fonder". I am going to take this experience and write about it not only to help me, but in the hope that I might help other families out there who are now or will be battling with the challenges of watching a loved one leave on a deployment.

It has been one month since I last kissed my husband, and I am ready to start talking about the challenges of being a new wife without her husband.

The day that he left I was determined to keep my emotions under control.

I walked into the crowded armory and my eyes scanned the sea of people mixed amongst them were about 40 uniforms.

When I turned to my left I saw a familiar face emerge from the mass of soldiers. My heart leapt into my throat and as his arms fell around me I exhaled and it felt like I was being stabbed in the chest. He pulled back, kissed me and asked me to wait there, that he would be right back.

Standing in that swarm of people I couldn't control anything any more. My next breath out was filled with streams of tears. This was really happening. I was there to watch the one person who keeps me grounded leave for a country full of people who could care less if he was there or not.

In just a moment, Marcus was back and found me standing in a state of realization. He took me into his arms again and for those few moments I felt safe, but I knew it was only going to last a

short while.

The ceremony began and I sat at the end of a row of folding chairs. I have no idea what any of the speakers talked about, I had too much to think about -- too much to feel.

The ceremony ended and we were able to sit together for a while. I was a mess, and after we had been sitting for a while, what my husband said to me was completely ridiculous and exactly what I needed.

"Do you wanna go have sex quick?"

A smile immediately filled my face. This was his attempt at distracting me and getting me to laugh instead of cry. It worked.

After visiting with family and bidding everyone farewell the soldiers were called to formation. They lined up as we all waited on the lawn for them to exit the armory and board the bus. I stood along the sidewalk near the door. The men moved quickly past me and as I saw Marcus coming my heart crept towards it's new favorite place in my throat.

He had something in his hand.

When he walked past he gave me a rose. His hand reached towards my face and in an instant he disappeared in the blur of camouflage and he was gone.

If I tried to explain the emotions that filled me as the bus started to pull away, I would be typing for hours and still wouldn't be able to share it appropriately.

I know that every woman who has had their husband leave for a deployment knows exactly how I felt, as for the rest of you I hope that this helped to illustrate what the day is like.

I am so proud of the man I married, and I hurt for him to return. Until I see him again I will continue to write here and I hope for some followers in that time to share this with.

On June 26, 2010- I married my hero. On July 30, 2010 I let him go to fight for all of us.

I will see him soon, and in 11 months we will begin our life together.

share, an article from a local paper.